Hope of the Afflicted

April 18, 2004

Personal Narrations

Joel Akin

Calgary, Alberta

Ps 9:18 - For the needy will not always be forgotten, Nor the hope of the afflicted perish forever.

When you realize that your faith is strong and you are growing in love but the answers still do not come that leaves only hope. Hope truly is the one thing that sustains us. As David wrote in Chapter 38 "For I hope in you, O Lord, You will answer, O Lord my God.

What other hope is there? It is foolish to think that God will answer us in our timing and in the way we think He should. None of us can force His hand or make Him dance to our strings. Yet how often do we fall short of that thinking and strive to get God to do just that?

God must often calm that wild side of us. The rebellious nature that strives to get its own way. Like a leaping horse proud and free yet God desires to use us. But how until He breaks that sin nature we were born with? It seems cruel but is it?

So hope means I will rely on God to deliver me and set me free but in the meantime it also means I will rest in Him and in the fellowship we have developed. For when He speaks I want to listen and when it is time to move I shall step forth.

Evening Update

It seems after each spiritual victory there comes another battle. I know there is freedom and liberty at the end of this journey yet now it is a struggle to see. God has mentioned that I have an advantage in that I am being taught to have faith and to win without anyone else but Him to turn too and no signs to distract. Though my spirit tells me this is true my natural man is crying "Give me a sign!"

To illustrate how this works I was lying out on the lawn chair this aft to try and soak up some sun. As I lay there looking up at the rapidly changing clouds and blue sky I cried out to God, "Show me something. Help me to know that I'm on the right path..."

So I searched the blue sky and I saw clouds, a jet, birds, and stars when I twisted my neck too far back, but no signs.

So God asked if I still believed, if I still trusted... I paused a moment and thought, "My natural man is fainting but my spiritual man is growing stronger..." In the dream from a few days ago I wondered why the driver had gone from a slim man two months ago to this huge, burly hulk. God explained that the driver was my spiritman. The part of me that has been in battle with Satan for the last 7 plus months. The part that has been wrestling, fighting and who's hands have been taught to war. Though my natural man wastes away my spiritual side is fighting battles with foes I could not imagine facing a year ago.

God reminded me that the smallest of these forces are still sickness and disease and I've been asking God to explain why my natural man has not overcome as yet. I wish I could say that I received a clear answer but I haven't...I should say fully... For God indicated I'm still in His will and timing and that when the answer comes it will be quickly and with it the breakthrough in the natural. So many times He shows me how essential it is to overcome first in the spiritual. Now I looked that up on the net and did some heavy duty research on that subject...fighting first in the spiritual before doing anything in the natural. I don't think there was anyone who seemed to fully agree with that statement or at least none that I found. A few came close.

Yet why is it so important to deal with the spiritual first? God has made it clear that the church has forgotten this principle. To be honest I am still trying to learn it fully. And I suspect, as God has mentioned, that I won't understand until the breakthroughs begins to happen.

 This is a spiritual battle where Satan has conformed the church into believing that true knowledge and understanding of Gods kingdom cannot be known until we get to heaven. In the meantime we have to suffer under Satan's lies until God comes to deliver us. Yet is that the truth? Or the lie we are taught to believe?

I hear so many leaders talk about miracles yet none take place. Or should I say few take place. And because they are few and far between you have people preaching that these were done by Christ and the disciples but not since then.

But is the 'secret' of all of this what God is putting me through now? A separation from the world until He has finished His work on me? I think that is what I struggle with and why I asked for a sign today. My natural man is weak and faint and I need restoration.

This is so ironic and so contrary to everything I've been taught. The church preaches, "You must occupy and be busy with your hands". But God took that away from me. Took away my voice. Allowed those things I trusted in to fall away. Left me basically alone with my thoughts except for the occasional e-mail. Only Him and I. In the desert lead and guided by the Holy Spirit.

What I am struggling with right this moment is wanting to say and talk about what God is showing me. Maybe I had to lead up to this. A sense of freedom to break through all these years of tradition and conformity. The willingness to talk and think as God speaks to me. No longer bound by lies. As God showed me He said that all spirits are aimed at conformity to Satan's world. If you think about it there is so much truth in that statement. Sickness and disease, riches and poverty, spiritual assassins, adversity, and on and on are to silence us, or prevent us from moving forward.

Now here's the thing. This authority that every Christian claims to have immediately when they become born again is not true. One must gain that authority through Christ by prayer. As God said to me again that if you want to overcome sickness or disease you have to do so by prayer. If this is the case, and they are the simplest spirits to overcome, then our spiritual authority in this world is a sham and a shame.

And what God says is if we can't overcome the simplest of spirits then who is able to overcome the strong man or the other forces of this world? Now I do not claim this power for myself but my dreams and what God shows me indicate otherwise. And that level of authority is something I have heard taught often but if I understand God right, there is no one showing this authority that I've heard of. And that is why it probably is smart of God to keep me silent until He finishes whatever He is doing in my life. Knowing me I'd be talking about this and making a lot of people angry. Ha. I do get a chuckle out of that thot for some reason.