The power of Gods passion

May 26, 2004

Personal Narrations

Joel Akin

Calgary, Alberta

To keep me humble God gave me another dream this morning showing my life as it looks now. In two previous dreams he showed my life as a gymnasium. At first it was filled with water so that I could feed tiny fish pieces of flesh. They never grew but I felt obligated to feed them anyway. Then God drained the water, took away the fish, and I saw a gym starting to fill with people. That was future.

But today God showed me the gym as it now is. One corner was still broken and shattered. The walls were filled with layers of images of past events. Dirt was all over as well as dust. In one case God showed me picking up a handful of dirt and casting it even further. There were brooms around and at one point I thought of picking one up but was too busy on other things. There was a stage but it was empty. And the lighting was terrible.

At one point the overhead sprinklers turned on for a minute but did more harm then good.

This dream shows so many things but it reveals so clearly that there has to be some serious renovations, cleaning, relighting and more. In the dream there were two women who showed up to help but the gym had expanded from previous dreams and was now huge.

Leave it up to God to keep me humble. Anytime I think I've arrived all God has to do is show me as I really am without the light of Christ in my life. I think what God is saying is that the foundation may be finished or almost finished but the house itself needs some serious work. I know God is not just saying the physical shell alone but the areas that are often ignored at first. The corners for example. The tiny piles of dirt that you've ignored until now. The sinful thoughts you think are not that important. It just goes on and on and helps me to see how great Gods grace is to those of us in His care.

Afternoon update

To share this story with you will require a few moments of history. And it does have to do with the gym. In this mornings dream I told you that the corner was broken and shattered. I did not go into a full explanation because I did not understand the dream. The entire corner of the gym was ripped apart. The wood floor, the cement covering and one other layer, three in all I believe all the way down to the dirt. God showed me the dirt on the floor had two sources. Dirt from that hole that had been tracked there or spread there from it and the sewage from the fish that had lived in the artificial pond that God had drained. And then overhead was the sprinkler which only went off in this terrible corner. I was misled by the overhead sprinkler because I thought it went off to help me clean up some of the posters and paint in that corner which I was scrubbing with my bare feet.

There was so much symbols here I didn't think there was any way to explain it. The power of God and HIS revealing knowledge and wisdom can come from except from Him.. He strips away the darkness and reveals the truth that has blinded us all of our lives. I don't know really where to start here so lets go back to the earlier dream where the gym was filled with water. In that water, which God showed me was an artificial pond, I had two little fish. Vicious little creatures. Once a day or a few times each week I would open a door and a little light would shine on them. It was a signal for them to come feed off of me from my flesh. In the dream I threw them chunks of flesh but God showed me it was not of Christ but of self. They would see the light I had through Christ and it would attract them to me but I did not understand I was feeding them flesh and not of the Spirit.

So God took me away from everyone for a time. He drained that pond but I did not know why. It seemed cruel to me but God showed me that artificial water and things of the flesh cannot support themselves. Rain falls from heaven and fish in the ocean are taught to feed themselves and thus they can grow without limits. But men create limits whereas God does not.

There seems to be several layers in my walk with God. There is what I can only describe as the superficial relationship where my voice gets mixed in with God and I 'hear' what I think I should hear. In other words this dream is sent to humble me. But when God truly speaks then revelation comes.

God said the main focus of this dream is that broken up corner. But also how the other elements fit together. Sometimes it all becomes clear and sometimes there are things God will not show me. What I learned tonight was enough.

Here is the meaning which God showed me.

Nearly forty years ago an event took place in my life that until now I gave little credence to. Our class was presenting what I can only describe as Michigan Day celebration. I might have been six years old. Each one in our class was given a task which was then presented in front of 400 people of the town of Gwinn. At that time that was about 25% of the town population. One of my tasks was to quote the third stanza of a poem on the state bird, which I believe was a Robin. We were first out. But my parents, for whatever reason, were 30 minutes late in getting me there. I do not want to blame them too much as things of the church always came first. But that decision to be so late would begin what lead to tonight's understanding. Anyway my being late meant that I missed all of rehearsals. But the fact I showed up meant the teacher had time only to send me out with the other two students.

The first one quoted their part of the poem. And then the second student quoted his part of the poem, and to my horror quoted my stanza as well. I stood there in silence having nothing to say. Suddenly our neighbor, a young boy named Tommy yelled out in the silence, "Hey Akin. Did you forget your lines?" Immediately the entire gymnasium broke out in laughter and I stood there ashamed and humiliated while 400 adults and students let loose. Finally the teacher came and pulled us off stage. But I still remember the numbness I felt.

Is it a coincidence that in the very spot that Tommy sat, on top of his big brothers shoulders, was the very corner that was shattered in this dream? God began to reveal more and more of a history of where Satan has set a course of destroying, hindering, and stealing my voice and my message. What I thought was chance, bad luck, coincidence, angry people, sickness and more were Satan's efforts to do one thing. Take away that gift which God had for me. To speak His truth and His message to the people. As God began to show me these things I began to weep.

He showed me how this was one of the most critical points of my life. Because before He can send me out in wholeness He has to heal what Satan has tried to destroy. What I could not understand is why the sprinkler came on while I was in this corner. God showed me something powerful. He asked me what a sprinkler usually does in a building. I said put out fires.

Exactly. In this case Satan knows that if I am ever healed not just physically but spiritually and emotionally that this area of my life will be restored. God showed me that even in its devastated condition, with all three layers, spirit, body and soul, gone, there is still enough left to create heat and fire, even if unseen. The sprinkler senses that fire and puts it out. I have not seen nor understood that this particular corner of my life is the heat, the flame of Gods passion for me. It is the corner by which God speaks and Gods fire breathes through me. So Satan knew this and so he set about a course where the fire and passion would be quenched by artificial waters. Yet somehow, in the times I did speak, God said that even then the fire was present but only 1/1000 of its power.

So God asked permission to come in and not only heal but restore that corner to its full purpose, calling and meaning. And to repair everything so that this fire is not quenched ever again.

I keep saying that I cannot think of anything more profound and more powerful and yet tonight, in my weeping, there is hope. Because God showed me that with this healing will come change in my life as I have never imagined. He said that the rest of the problems in the gym are minor. And to think how I thought God was humbling me. He wasn't. He was showing me how I still needed healing and how that healing was critical for me before He sends me out to minister.