Pop Test of the day

January 10, 2005

Personal Narrations

Joel Akin

Calgary, Alberta

John 14:26 But the Comforter, [which is] the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you.

The Dream: I was sitting at the very front of a class of 15-20 students. There were two teachers present, a man standing at the front and a lovely woman standing in the middle of the class who seemed to be his assistant. We were each handed three English books. The first was a text book filled with all manner of examples and illustrations. The second was a lined work book where we were asked to write our answers down. And the third a book filled with questions. Wasting no time the teacher asked us to open the third book and asked each of us to answer the first question. It was but the first question and below it were dozens of others. I looked at the first question and realized it was an English question. The teacher asked us to rewrite it so that it made sense. I looked at it and saw that it was written in past, present and future tenses. Somehow I had to rewrite it so that it made sense. I studied it for a few minutes and grew greatly puzzled. It did not make sense. I listened to people around me and everyone in the class seemed to have found a partner to work with or were busy figuring it out on their own. Yet the more I looked at it the more I realized I did not know what to do with it. The teacher had not given us specific instructions. I raised my hand and even though I was directly in front of the teacher he would not look at me. I looked at his eyes and they were focussed intently on those behind me. I could not understand it and felt great shame at my ignorance. I peeked around quickly and everyone was huddled together busy answering what seemed like such an easy question. Then why was I the only one raising their hand? Again I looked at the teacher standing in front of me and still he would not look at me but only at those busily answering the 'simple' question. Then suddenly the door to the classroom burst open and a young man proclaimed "Have you not heard? There has been a fire drill and you are the only class that has not left the school..."

As in all dreams we must seek the interpretation of God who gives knowledge and understanding to those who ask. To be honest I was very depressed about this dream for a number of reasons. God began to reveal to me who the teachers were. They represented the Holy Spirit and Wisdom. Yet I could not understand because of this was the class of the Holy Spirit then truly there must be a reason why the class was canceled so incredibly soon. Here I was in the first day of class, opening the very first book, in the very first minutes on the very first question, in the very front seat and already I had proved how ignorant I was. But what saddened me the most is I seemed to be so far behind everyone else. Their knowledge and understanding seemed so strong and they were doing wonderful. I wasn't. Yet instead of explaining to me or answering my questions the Holy Spirit ignored me and seemed to focus on the smart students.

 The more I thought about it the more unfair it seemed. Even my initial prayers didn't seem to give me any answers beyond the sovereignty of God. The fact is it was His school and He could do with us as He wished. But it went deeper then that. It reminded me of how poorly I did in school and how often I was afraid to even lift my hand for help. And not only that but it seemed everyone else had a partner to work with. I had no one. Worst of all my question was not answered before the fire drill started and the class came to a sudden end. Was this the way it was going to happen? Was I going to be forced to spend the rest of my life in this class? How could I gain knowledge on a question that bewildered me.

Sometimes we as humans tend to jump to conclusions and I happened to be the biggest jumping frog in class that day. But imagine my confusion when God spoke to me and said, "Joel, you didn't fail the question or the class. You graduated..." "Say what?!!!" I graduated? Talk about a confusing statement cause in my mind I was the only one that failed.

All too often we see things and strive to understand things with human eyes and human understanding. God does not look at the outside so much as He looks at the heart. We are probably never going to understand God in the natural. His ways are beyond our ways and trying to comprehend His greatness or timing is probably never going to make sense.

So how do you explain the true wisdom of God? First of all lets forget the textbooks and workbook and focus on the quiz book a moment. A pop quiz is something the teacher gives you to test your understanding of previous teaching. Everyone in that class had gone through previous training by God in other classes but this was Holy Spirit 101. The very basics. You see the Holy Spirit was looking for one thing in this class. It was not self sufficiency but God sufficiency. The Holy Spirit was looking for someone who admitted that they could not answer the question. He was looking for someone with their hand upraised. The reason the Holy Spirit was not looking at me was not because my hand was upraised. He was searching for anyone else with their hand upraised. He was seeking those who admitted they did not know how to answer the question. He was seeking for anyone in that class who relied on the Holy Spirit for help.

God told me that I was the only one in this class to raise my hand and the only one who passed. The first question was not the real test but only the method whereby the Holy Spirit sought out the hearts of those who refused to work on their own or turn to others for help. So thus I was the only one who passed by admitting my ignorance, my weakness, my inability to figure out the very first of these questions. You see if I had gone the route of others on the very first question then I would go that route on all the questions. I would go that route in the things I wrote and said. I would go that route with the Bible and its interpretation. God was not looking for someone who had it all figured out. He was searching for someone who struggled with the very basics. Who admitted they could not find the truth on their own. Who admitted they needed the help of the Holy Spirit and the Wisdom He offers.

Truly I was amazed at this teaching and the fact that I was the only one who graduated. Yet at the same time I found myself weeping for those who were rejected because they refused to turn to the Holy Spirit. Those who did not seek truth. We were interrupted when we were by the Fire Drill not because I failed but because not one turned to the teacher for their help and they all failed.

In the next part of the dream everyone left the building but I remained behind and drank from the fountain that was in the classroom. God was showing me that by admitting my weaknesses and failures and putting Him first that I would then drink from these living waters of the Holy Spirit. This is something I look forward to. Yet I will continue to pray for Gods mercy on those who failed the most basic of tests. Pray for myself that I would stay humble and always admit that in myself I can do nothing but through Christ I can do all things.