April 30 2007

Joel Akin

I see but can't hear!

 Well, it is time for bed but I can't rest until I've written something. And that prevents the reflux. Reflux I guess is like a Ref blowing the whistle because the air is passing out of bounds. Or in other words I reef up the air and it often comes up with things from the deep. Of course that could be fish but for now lets just say its best not to worry about deep things on that level.

 Now the world is filling up with worldly ideas about why the bees are vanishing. But lets suppose that people still want new ideas. And lets assume God was the one who went out and told everyone that the bees were being raptured. And suppose it really was Gods desire to give credit to whom credit was due. So He sent a sign and said the bees were dying but not all. And lets say another sign was he sent the honey but it wasn't yet expensive. And lets say he sent the idea that honey would go up in value.

Now honey doesn't refer to things that are of men. So lets say the honey I speak of is honey from a bee. And lets say the bee is really being raptured. How can that be?

Well, lets put things into perspective. Suppose God saw a way to cast off sin. All he had to do was tell people the sting of sin is death. And suppose some people went out and became severely allergic to sting of the bee and they had to have a shot to survive. And suppose that God wanted all of us to remember the bee. Not as something that was going to die but something that was going to live. So in that sense he is saying not to oversupply the world with honey and fear of going without.

Well, I guess that means me. But suppose I had a way of advancing knowledge so that I could tell you the price of oil will not fail to go either up or down. Would that help? Of course not and you'd be surprised if it didn't go up or down. That is what a pump does when it gathers in barrels of oil from the deep.

Of course things of the deep might be scary if we thought about it. Why do we go out and spend big bucks to build a well so we can pump up oil from the depth? The answer is there is enough oil out there to last for another thousand years without fail. That is if we can find a way to reach it. If we can't then we are on the way to running out. And once that happens it will be the deep for our pocketbook.

There really are wars in this place. So lets say that earth is about to experience a war. One where God is going to deliver us. We want the bee to suffer the fate of the sting and it does. They are dying all over the world. So remember the bee is helping to pay a price for life. It is also the Lord who would say to rest when time comes. That is because I write with a will for answers. And the answers don't always arrive on time.

And that is what I see for my own life. I thought I would have answers by now. When they don't arrive on time do I claim I failed to send in the right forms? Do I claim the check bounced on its way to the male? In this case me being the male? And if I got a bounced check who sent it? Was it God? No. He doesn't mail out checks he sends packages. They are usually filled with notes. The real package I got was from a bum rap. And that is the truth of the deal.

The fact of the matter is I am a man who fights but I fail to see. Seeing is part of the story of life. And seeing isn't of prayer alone. We can pray and we can fight and even believe in God. Yet what if God doesn't answer? Does that mean we have failed? And if it does do we then stop thinking about blessing? In my case it seems easier. For when I bring up things from the deep of me it hurts. And that pain lasts for days or at least long hours when I wish I could sleep.

And so what do I do when the deep part of me brings up only hurt? Do I throw away the fishing pole? Do I stop throwing coins into the wishing well? Or do I just lie there by the side of the deep wishing this story would go away so I could have hope in some deep well where people don't tell you what to feel or think.

And perhaps that is part of the story of me. I was happy until evil came along. I was happy with just God and if God were there talking about fishing I'd be happy. But it seems as if God were on the other side of the river and his concentration seems on doing things outside my understanding.

And perhaps that is why God is God. I see but I can't hear. And in hearing I can't realize that God doesn't fail. And in failing I can't see that I still throw in the wish and the well wishers. For in the deep is the hole of the well and that well is sweet. And it is there where God catches the deep part of me and savors it as a friend would a good poem. And it is there where I refuse to part with it on the surface. And if that is hope then it is hope. If it is discouragement it is only because there are those called snaggers. And though I did it once with a friend I didn't enjoy it. My true desire in life is to sit by the side of a pool with a bobber and allow the fish to come as they well. True, I do get bored when they never bite but sometimes that is key to life. If I always got a bite then I would get tired of life. Well, maybe I guess. The other side is also true. I mostly gave up on fishing when bobbers stopped bobbing. And all I ever got were jerks when I thought a fish had bit. It was me and I was hoping for a bite.

And now I sit here and I realize the pole is bending down to the ground. And if the pole is bending to the ground then maybe I need to do something?

The answer is to wait and not just with patience but with hope. For hope is part of the story. And she is part of the cree or decree. For the decree is part of the li and the li is part of the see. And the see is the se or sea or see. And the se is that part of the se which is of the la. And if there is sela is isn't just of pause but of right and of color. For God is saying that there is hope in life. And that means I am on the right and on the path to righteous living. And that is God and not me. For I am wondering if I am meant to do something wise.

To answer that requires a night of clarity with God. And that will arrive when God is free. Not to fish for scams but to dig for pearls. And so if clams have pearls they will dig and dig and dig until the world is filled with shovels. But if digging means to dig for ammon or for the nite then ammon is of the nite and of the right. And that means to keep on going. For all things come to those who wait.