February 10, 2007

Joel Akin

What we do with our time

 Where do we begin? If we wish to speak we have to write and writing is part of the dream. I like to write and yet I love to pray. Yet I just finished eating so have to wait until my stomach clears a little before I begin to pray. Prayer for me is about lying down and that means I spend time sitting and lying in bed. For exercise I try to go for walks and if needed shovel the sidewalk of snow. I can do other things lightly but my health problems are many.

 Now I am a dreamer and as a dreamer I like to pray. And in prayer I have sought God for my dreams. They have been relatively scarce because of two reasons. One is the fight I've been in and the second is the lack of interpretations. I've got hundreds of dreams that have remained uninterpreted. They need understand to understand.

 Some dreams are easy to figure out. But I've learned with God that what is easy to understand on the surface often time has a deeper journey. And that journey begins with prayer.

 Finding the father in this day and age means giving up time. When you are not doing well some people say you've got nothing but time. But talk to others and many of their days are filled with activities. It is not just health but choice. And I want this choice in prayer to continue for many years to come.

 What is the purpose of prayer and why is it that prayers are not always answered? I think its not that prayers are not answered but that prayers are answered differently.

 We want there to be a natural breakthrough. And that is the goal of God. God isn't interested in us always saying "We got our answer but it was for my spiritual side and not my natural side. So I feel sick but can never expect an answer to that sickness?

 That is the way it has seemed. We hear about some preachers and evangelists who go out and have more stirring of the waters then most. Yet how do we treat prayer if it is left untreated? As in it isn't found in ways we can see?

 That is like asking God for answers. And asking God is like seeking for knowledge. We seek for trees to climb so we can see over a hill or a valley. But the hill might still be taller then the tree and so we still cannot see. And so we have to climb the hill but even at the top there are more trees. So at the top of that hill we climb a tree and then hopefully see.

 And so it goes with faith. There are always trees to climb and valleys to cross. It would be easy if we had wings but we don't. So the valley is based on our dream and the hill on the interpretation.

 And that which is treated is that which is changed and that which is untreated is that which stays the same.

 So lets say that we desire untreated prayer. Not changed by men or evil. How do we obtain it? To answer that requires time and spending time.

 Time is that which we have. It is given to us by God and all of us have it. We spend it when we give it to God without reservation. That doesn't mean we don't have a set time but that we don't limit God. Lets say the reservation was a time and a limit at a restaurant. We would limit the restaurant or ourselves by saying we'd be there by 8 pm. And if we didn't show up they could cancel the reservation.

 Now God wants us to pray but lets say that we are beaten again and again and again and again for praying. If it is impossible to hear God does God want us to continue? The answer is he does but not to suffer. He doesn't want us to suffer pain but he wants us to keep praying.

 So the restaurant is filling up and we have to decide if prayer is worth it to us. If it is we faint or faint not and if we faint we can't bear the prize.

 Now for me I struggle and struggle to pray but lets say prayer is like standing. I am physically unable to stand for more then a minute in one place because of a nuerological condition. If I had to base prayer on standing in that respect it would be impossible. It has nothing to do with lack of faith but of ability. You don't ask a child to lift a man and yell at him because he cannot. Nor do you ask a man who is disabled to stand if he cannot. I can stand but standing still and in one place creates an imbalance in my nerve center and it shatters me if I don't sit or walk for a moment and even then its to find a place to sit.

 This is the challenge of physical and that is part of my question. Now I cannot imagine having to suffer like Paul or others. Even praying, as Jesus did, knowing in a little over an hour they would come to take him away. That is the basis of prayer. Last minute seeking. Its not that it isn't understood just that Jesus knew it was his last time to pray. And he wanted strength from His father to prepare himself. And that took time.

 And so I know I want to pray but I am not quite ready to be still so I write.

 And yet I look forward to prayer. I really do. It hasn't been considered easy and during the time of prayer there is warfare. Yet it is considered honor and not failure that I cannot get through. Not because I fail but because Sin interferes. And he is a spirit that lies. And a spirit that will be tried and tested. And yet the final hour of Sins life is up to God.

 Now time means that I pray and seek the father. But what do I do about desire to hear?

 That is the fathers heart. He doesn't leave us broken. He gives us messages along the way. Even when it doesn't make sense. Its as if he took our heart and wrenches it towards him. Then Sin wrenches us back. And so it becomes a case of two wrenches and one nut or bolt.

 Anyway that is probably the truth. The real question of this is the time to pray. God does pray and seek and knows I have a sense of humor. And I like to pray. And that is a key to the success of this story.

 So when you think its all over then pray. And seek God. And he will help you find a way out of the mess. And when you are finished and the day is done and you are heading off to sleep remember there is a God who sees. And he knows the day of life has just begun.