February 25, 2007

Joel Akin

Why do we keep fighting?

 True and tried. These are the two words of a man who fights. I know that fighting isn't kosher in some circles. I fight but I wear out and I go to sleep and I get up and fight some more. Maybe its not how a real war is fought but this one is different. I fight and they score and I fight and they win and I fight and they complain.

 "Why does he keep fighting? Doesn't he know he is defeated?"

And so I don't see it that way. I know I am more then a conquerer through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. And I know this is a war and yet it is one sided. Giving evil reflux or making him sick isn't what I want. I want to fight and see him down for the count.

 Now some might say that I don't inspire but I do. Not here on earth but God says I inspire in Heaven. They tell people that I am a friend and that I fight and I refuse to give up. And it so happens Sin points out that I argue and I yell but I only have two types of voice left. One sounds like argue and one sounds like whisper. The yell wears me out in a few minutes but its about the best I can do. The other frequencies of my voice are gone. And so I don't really remember what I sound like.

 The other point is I am wore out and war out. It is a saying I came up with and those who fight like I do just want to crawl away and hide and try to get my strength back. I have a deep shake which God is attempting to heal. It is a shake that would tear me apart limb to limb. It is one of the worst shakes there is. It is called severe and one reason I am permanently disabled. Just one but perhaps one of the most severe and if not for Gods help it would be deadly. Imagine shaking so hard it rips muscle and tendon and that is how severe it can be. It can tear me apart and I have no defense except to try and lie down and let it resolve itself.

 Its only happened a few times. Once when the nuerologist showed me how to trigger it. I didn't know it could be triggered by sitting up in a certain position. I had started to slouch and that was an indication it was taking effect on my body. The other is when I get in line. I've been stuck in lines a few times and have to call down prayer as I've never done so before. In each case I've been able to finish. There are a few times I've left things but I don't like to think of that.

 There is in me a desire for freedom. I want to be financially free. My parents think of death and know that I am in bad shape. I don't see myself as anyone special but I pray and I seek God. And I believe God is helping me teach others on the rapture. It is an evil that fights me because I know things I shouldn't. So I write and share things here but unless you know scripture you won't see anything different. And even then Sin has been known to erase peoples memories if they get too close to the truth. And that isn't a joke.

 Now if you are concerned don't be. God is still God and I am still just a sick man praying for healing and help.

 Lets make a prediction. As I see it I have one choice. That is to keep praying. Now there are spirits who want me to win and those who want me to lose. Lets say evil tried to predict that I would win but I don't want me to win but God to win. Yet if I win then men would look at me and if God wins they would cheer him.

So lets say that is not the bother. The bother is its talk. A story has movement. This isn't strong movement. It is chatter of my life and I grow weary of chatter. I want movement and inspiration and excitement and hope.

 So lets say that all these things are coming and that I am on the right path. As in Gods will. Why do I struggle to think? Its because I can't sit. Not for long. I will soon but lets say God had one word for me. It was sit and enjoy life.