Sun of time or gun of right

July 15, 2007

Joel Akin

 Hope carries time. Hope is time. Hope is a star we wish upon. When we are children we live in hope. We wish each day for an end to what we might call struggle to understand. As a child we pray for wealth. As a child we pray for life. As a child.

I am a child inside. In me is hope. In me joy asks me to live. In me I am waiting. In me I am hoping.

Yet if I am sad it is because I cannot speak as I wish to one I love most. Now you might say speaking to God is as simple as wishing. We just wish and God hears.

 Imagine this is true but also imagine you have a parent who is mean to you. Do you think of them as evil? Do you hate them? Do you want to tell them to shut up?

Growing up in a Christian home one isn't supposed to think like this yet I did once run away from a father who wanted me to obey. I ran and I hid. I would have stayed away but it got dark. I didn't want to be out in the dark. So I went home. No one seemed to say anything. They just let me be and I was sad. Not because they didn't look but because a father understood why I yelled "I hate you".

I didn't hate my father but I couldn't tell him to stop hurting me with punishment. I was bad. I wasn't a good child. I disobeyed and as a result I got punished. And so the punishment I deserved was right and good. But when it was there in adulthood it became hard to deal with. I saw my failures each day. I saw my failure. I saw how bad I had been. Yet it wasn't the good I saw which encouraged me. Nor was it the bad I saw. It was hope that God wasn't really mad. It was hope that the sun had not become time of punish Joel for trying to pray.

Now I said what my heart thinks. You see, when I was with God I did okay. I started feeling good about who I was. I felt as if the world were finally coming together as it should. Then I got into trouble. Call it brain malfunction or call it sin. The fact is things went bad overnight. Things got weird. They were so strange I try to this day to piece together what happened. I can't. There are things I did which are beyond ability to understand. Things that caused me no end of grief. I spent years weeping. I fell into despair. I fell to my face again and again until I thought I would die. And yet in the midst of all this I knew God was there. If you asked me where God was I would shake my head and bow it and whisper "Right here." It was just that I could not hear as I had. it was me that struggled to hear and I was far from where I wanted to be.

Yet it wasn't the world I lived in which had gone to hell nor was it me so much as it was those that understood me. They went into suffering and pain and I couldn't stop it. I couldn't end it. I couldn't protect them from time. I did what God asked. I followed his letter in everything and yet at the end of the day I still said "God, are you there?" It were an end to a day of sun and the beginning of when I got my gun.

Now I don't own a gun but if I did I would point it at evil. I would fight for good. I would be a good soldier. I would fight even if I were wounded. That is until someone came and said "You don't have to fight."

Now that might sound foolish to a good soldier but what do you do when you are wounded? What do you do when you are suffering? What do you do when you have life but no one around you seems to want to talk about spiritual things? How can you get the day of the Lord into the day of things? How can you break out when you are trapped? How can you do things that are of prayer when people just say "Trust. Have faith. Pray."

Now that is the answer. Don't think its not. I pray without end but I haven't got my breakout. And that is what I had for a time but sea of things is like the life of love. I begin with a switch and it is prayer. I end with a day and it is still in prayer. I wake up to prayer. I go to bed with prayer. I am a man who prays.

So why doesn't answer come? It does. Only God does it this way. He goes out and puts the day into perspective. He knows I want hope. He goes and puts hope in a box. It is called life. He says "If you want hope then open a box." So I open one and it turns out to be something we'll say is hope. Only I find it filled with things that are of pain. So I think I've failed. I didn't. For hope is there at the end of the day.

Now today was pretty rough. I had nausea so bad I almost threw up but I couldn't because my stomach is sewn up. I can't vomit. I can't speak. I can't think as clearly as I want but God is there.

And so when I fight I fight with hope. I fight with desire. I fight with light. I say "God help me to have hope!" and God does. Without shame or humiliation which is what evil does. He did it to Adam and to Eve. He did it to everyone who ever lived. They suffered humiliation and shame for life. It was the way of men and it is the way of life. And so God says if I will heed he will answer.

And in that is the way to life. So I ask God to end it with a word for the world.

I would end it with a word for the world but the world isn't here. So instead I end it with a word for life. For life is here.

I give life. I send it with hope. I send Hope to the one who holds life. I send Wisdom to the one who holds Hope. I send Joy to the one who carries her who is Laughter. I carry Prosperity to the one who holds Joy. And so I God create laughter and joy and peace and grace and love and hope. I do what no one in all the world can do. I carry what no one can take. I have what no one can steal. I am God. I am not concerned over power of Sin. I am not afraid of him who is evil. I am not one to fret or worry over those who are bad. I am only concerned that life is free to be what Life will be. For Life is of me but life is of men. And those who freely give are those who freely receive. So give without complaint. Give with desire. Give with hope. And when the day is gone and the bills are unpaid give more. Give until it hurts. Give until the day is freely given. Give and it will be given to you. So give of time and give of gun. For I God will create a weapon called the Gnu way. And people who take it will find it prospers them. For the Gnu way is the Gun of Life. The Gun of Life isn't of cap or toy. It is a weapon which prospers. It is a weapon which is hard to use. It is a weapon called Gnu. For the Gnu is Gun but in a way that is honoring to those who make them. Men of America rode West with a gun at their hip. The law approved of it. Some towns holstered them but most saw them as a way of life. You never had a gun in the West without life following. For people put to death the rattler without punishment. They shot a bear without fear it would go extinct. They killed a deer and had it for dinner. They shot buffalo only because the buffalo was a spiritual nemesis to life. It should have been made extinct. It should have but wasn't. Not because it is good for meat but because it was the way of the old West. It wasn't meant to survive the transition.

Now you might say that isn't God. But suppose it was. Suppose for once God gave the West a right to carry a gun. Suppose God wanted guns to prosper in America. Suppose He spoke to the founders to put "Right to bear arms" into the Bill of Rights? Suppose He did those things because He saw men who had no weapon couldn't fight. They couldn't fight with men. They couldn't fight with weapon of right. They had no right. And so in Canada the right to own a gun is removed by law. It is the joy of gun right provisions to abstain from owning a right. They take them which is antique and they call it right. They take gun owners to court and they call it right. They take men who were once free to own a gun and they charge a high price. One which most don't wish to pay but have to in order to have a right. Now what right is there to charge for a weapon? The right to charge men for failure to own what is right. So the right of men is the right of a man. And the right of a man should be to own not just a gun but a knife. And if that is a knife as Mic Dundee says then that is a knife. And if his knife was of Davy Crockett and others of like mind then what happened to our age? We turned our right over to the law. And the law made sure only criminals had weapons. That is why they charge men who have a gun with right to own a gun but a criminal they just take them away and prosecute them for crime they committed. And so men of right become men of sigh. They cry out for an end to laws which break their spirit. They cry for an end to police who break their heart. They cry for an end to the man who pulls out a whip from his side when a child hears it

Now this isn't the way of right perhaps but it is the way of life. For I was one who bore the print of the boot of the police on me. I was one who bore it more then once for having a brain malfunction. I saw others go through the same thing. I find I can't malfunction again lest they carry me away again. And that is the truth. I can't find it in me to support the law as it is. I don't break it. I follow it as best I know how. But I speak these few words as my protest. And it is what the police told me to do. Write a letter. Protest. Tell them in writing. So here it is. My protest. My desire for the law of this world to wake up before its too late. Too late for me? No. I am a man with a right to own a gun. Even if I don't have a gun. I may get one one day but if that is right to seize then go ahead and seize that right but don't seize that thought.

Until next time remember that the law obeys us. If the law controls us we bear right to the grave.