March 22, 2007

Joel Akin

 When Making a road

 On the way to Heaven I found God. I found I had been hit by a truck and had been in the ditch. There I was broken and shattered and God saw me from afar. He knew I was hurting and knew I was crying and knew I was wishing someone would see. And when I had reached the Pearly Gate Peter had said "There is a man in the road who never made it to the gate"

 And so the men of Heaven had a prayer fest and asked people to pray and they prayed and prayed and prayed because the man wanted to know if anyone prayed in Heaven. And they do. They prayed for me and I was found by God.

 Now it may seem strange to write this. It seems that while I was on earth God was attending to the need of those around me. He saw I would be hit but figured I had been trained. Only when the big hit came no one saw it. No one knew it. And history did seem to have repeated again. For this wasn't an ordinary hit. It was a hit from the hell place and people. As in hell rose up and took me and hit me again and again and again. Only problem is I wouldn't stay down so they had to find bigger and bigger things to hit me with. And that meant they had to devote all their resources because I was upset and I was angry only I refused to get really angry. I figured I might hurt someone.

 The worst thing that happened was that I was ready to bean the devil. And that was because I had woken up from my nap. And I was angry. I wasn't angry with you or God or family but with the devil. And the devil was the eater of truth. The one we call Satan. He had lied and lied and lied until God thought maybe I was unbelievedly hurt. After all if the devil lied to Christ then he can lie to God. And so God fought him and beat the tar out of him. And Satan couldn't stop lying. He kept lying even when he was beat up. So then God figured there were not enough lies to cover me and he went out and took the universe and shook. And voila, there I was. Just as God put me.

 So anyway this story does seem to have an ending. It really does. That doesn't mean it will end today it just means it will  end.

 And as far as me? I got my nap and I'm grumpy as usual. I guess I keep hoping for an answer to rise up out of the blue.

 That reminds me of the dream a person I met recently did. They were praying for an answer and God sent them one. They used it to hit sin crocodile right over the head. It came right out of the blue. A big book. It was so big sin was easily wrestled by a young girl. And she wrote and thanked me. And even called me king. I don't know what that means. After all I have never been called king before.

 So anyway this girl sent it to me and God wanted me to know that I was a king. Seems I had earned my crown and there were positions on earth I would be king over. Something about the living bell. That would be the liberty crown. A crown given to one who overcomes with the help of God. And it is a crown given to those who are of liberty. I don't know what it means exactly but I am thankful.

 As usual I have questions. And as usual God will answer. For the liberty crown is one of a kind. They didn't know what to call it. For there was no one in all the world who had fought in the way I had fought. I fought for liberty and for freedom. And I fought against form and franchise. I came out victorious even if I sounded frumpy and angry. I guess I was. Not at God but at those who came out and hit me for trying to be something that I wasn't. That was the people who thought I should keep quiet for speaking up. Only God said "Enough!" He was very angry with sin and with evil and with those devils. For they had not given me time to think. They had taken away everything but my shorts and my voice. And that voice wasn't physical. I struggled to speak and that meant God had to give me a voice. So I wrote. And I didn't stop not even when I was told that God was on the way.

 It wasn't that I thought he was wrong. I just didn't know what it meant. After all I saw my future and it was given to me in a dream this morning. I saw the church and a young boy had said I needed to take time to relax. And he added "Joel" at the end. It was kind of spooky because I didn't know him. I was walking through a crowded room in a church I had never been to before. And never would again as far as I knew. And I was hit by this young black boy with those words. Only I didn't know that young black boy wasn't evil. He was on the side of God. And he was answering me in my spirit. He was telling me to take time off.

 I want to. In the dream I was left in the middle of a city with nothing on my back but an ancient tape recorder from the 70's, tied with a brown string I had scavenged and wearing no shirt and colorful shorts.

 I had lost about 80 pounds in the dream but I was still chubby. I guess that is my life for the present. I am big and I got bigger. And it wasn't to show off my flab. It was because I got sick. A lot of people say that as a joke. I say it because its true. Something happened.

 Anyway in the dream I had I ended up walking by churches and I was close to nature and I don't remember having on anything but the string, the tape recorder, and a brightly multicolored pair of swimming trunks. And that was it. I just walked the wrong way because I knew that eventually it would take me to the right way. And it was miles and miles before I would find a home.

 That was this morning. Since then I went back to pray and it was rough. There isn't a time when I go into spirit fight that isn't rough. It is bad and I cry and I weep and I beg and I plead. And it seems that no one hears me. Like in the dream I pass by churches and all the doors are open to the world. Only they stare and it seems they know me and I know them but we can't speak because they are holding service and I am on my way home the wrong way.

 And maybe in a way that is why they don't stop and say "Isn't that Joel?" In the dream I was left naked by those who I was sent to help. I went to help them and said "I'm going for a walk" and the next thing I know they had left me. I was left there without direction. I was given no advance notice. And in a way it is the word of men that brought me to poverty. They didn't see me as important. They saw me as a man but one who had no vision. They didn't know Gods plan for me. It was big. It was brilliant. But the plans God had required that I be brought to Him and to Him I was sent. And I was sent without clothing. And I was sent without understanding. And I was sent in pain. And it was God who saw me and literally had to guide me from pain and sorrow and suffering back to Him.

 For those who spoke and those who saw were of the old and they are of life that will not rise. They are of those who cast me off. They are of those who will not receive the reward even though they fought and fought for it. Not because of those who were hurt but those who received. For they went into ministry and they sought help. I came to help. I went to receive. I got hurt and they didn't see. They didn't know and no one spoke. No one said "This man is hurt" and so God took me and He brought me to the soldiers way. I learned to keep silent when in pain. I learned not to shout and yell and complain. I learned that people didn't see what I knew. They didn't hear. And perhaps worst they didn't seem to care.

 It wasn't that people couldn't it was that they didn't. And so when I hurt I shut off the world. And when I saw people hurt I prayed. I didn't have money and I didn't have mean and I didn't have way. I just had me. And so I prayed for those I saw and I went into the den of suffering. Into the one place I had made a prayer "Let all the people in the house be brought to healing." I went there and I didn't know it was a house. I didn't know this is where they lived. I went there and I was hurt just as they were. Only they were not alive but dead. For no one had come to them. No one could. No one was allowed to come to them. They were blind and they were dead.

 And when I went there I found the doctor was possessed. I found the people were free and did what they wanted because the enemy had moved in. They were dying by the drove and by the drive and by the hunt and by the hurt. I didn't know what was happening. I just knew that I was there and I prayed. I didn't stop even when it seemed the enemy had cast me out of my new home. I didn't stop because I didn't know the enemy was on the loose. I didn't stop because I was part of the hurt and part of the pain. I just had to keep praying.

 And so I was sent to places I didn't want to know. I was sent to hotel and motel and inn and cupboard. I was sent to hurt and to the hurt. I didn't try to hurt but I did because I was in justice. And justice saw a need and there were those who saw that I needed. And I was not getting. And so they saw it and they wrote it and they wrote until it seemed this story could not end. And they said "He sees it but he can't follow it." For there was injustice all around me. And I fought it and I cranked out the fight until the enemy didn't stop. They threw what they had and I threw what I did. Which was pray. And they threw to me the most evil, vile, cantankerous, wild, demonic spirit that they could find. It made Hitler look like a little tiny doll head. It was a spirit called Mu or Moo. The one spirit the world feared. I went after it and I cranked it into the earth. I thought it was a wedding and I went and saw they were having a meeting. And I took that meeting and crushed it into the ground. I was so sure it was a wedding they wanted me to know it was off limits. And yet I didn't know and I still don't know.

 Now the Lord knows my heart. He knows my thought. He knows what I desire. And He knows that I know that this is the right step.

 Its just that when I try to fight in my self I tend to go overboard. And that is the power of law. Sometimes law becomes powerful and becomes threatening and as a Christian I have to bring in help to fight with the law.

 Now who is law? It is the power not of evil but of justice. Justice is the power of God. He is part of the justice which is being wrought in the earth. God isn't giving up. He isn't throwing out the towel. He knows I could use a towel but those swimming trunks just might be boxers. Boxers are not shorts for evening wear but for fighting. They are boxing shorts and even if they are wild and most white doesn't mean I'm not getting aid. God sees that I am fighting and that is perhaps the wild part of this. He knows I am on the right and he knows I have thoughts. He knows I am in the know. And he knows I am fighting.

 But then why does this fight go on and on and on and on? It isn't a fight between Stallone and some mighty Russian. This is a fight between fame and glory or failure and frustration. Because I may have glory or honor in Heaven but here on earth I'm the great unknown. And that is the truth. I don't see the things which are to come except perhaps by decree or by faith. And by faith is the power God grants to see and that is what God desires me to see. He is not afraid of evil and knows I wear out. Yet this is my writing. My writing is the gift of time. I have time to write to a friend but I will do that after. Now this is for those who are of God and who need encouragement.

 I continue with my journey. I was fighting foe and fighting fist to fist. I didn't give up and I didn't stop. I count those who fell around me as those I love. And they are alive but they couldn't keep up. They didn't know if I was right or if I was using a right. All they know is that I kept on fighting. And that is the hard part to believe. They saw me in action and if you want a fight and it is fightable then turn to me for action. That is in the spirit realm where I pray and pray and pray and pray.

 In the natural I complain at times and I weep and I cry and I hurt and I sleep a lot. I can't help it. This war in the spirit is wearing me down. I am tired and I am weak. And I can't fight this forever.

 So the whole story is one of faith. I have a fight by faith and that is the true part. I fight it by faith. And faith is what I believe. I believe and the unbelievable part is that God is coming to help. He isn't in the house but he is in the heart. He is coming to deliver and to set free. And it is a time when God will set all things straight. And that is true of me and true of my family. He knows that the enemy wants to see it but God wants them to be destroyed. He doesn't want them to suffer because if we let evil suffer it might escape. And that isn't the way it is meant to be. So evil will be destroyed. Those who are bad will be sent to reform school where they'll be taught how to respect. And there are people called to do that. People like Bad Dog Bounty and others who need some help and need some encouragement. I prayed for him because I saw he needed help. He needed people to help him because something was happening in Mexico. It was happening at the border when a lying drug runner sent two border guards to prison because our government sent him amnesty and them prison for doing what was right.

 So God has work to do and that is going to happen. It will turn things around and it will happen in a way that God will get the glory. And that means God will show up and make things right. And if they say "That is God" people will laugh. Because God is going to show up in prison and say "I am God and I would like to remove those who are truly innocent." And God isn't going to take out Christian but those who were wrongly convicted. Because if we look and see there are millions in prison who were wrongly convicted. How can we tell? Because we are dumb. We can't see. We are blind to the evil around us. It picks people at random to possess and so we are fearful that our world is being destroyed. And evil attacks and attacks and attacks until we can't trust even our own loved ones. Again and again and again we hear "He was such a nice guy" not realizing how strong the pull of evil is.

 Now lets get something straight. I am not saying people are good I'm saying they are possessed by evil and by vile and by sickness and by disease. Some get hit on the dark and some by the light. And the light are those who do good but make it bad. And some are those who do evil so they can make it good. And if you think this is a joke then remember this is a war and it doesn't matter how many there are. We are part of the problem. And that means those in prison are hit and hit and hit and hit by evil until they wretch. And the poor wretches can't find peace of mind because everyone calls them bad. And they are people who are taught to be bad by those evil ones who inhabit places of illness.

 And if we think our borders are safe remember the Bible indicates the spirit of lie is the spirit that kills, steals and destroys. God sets up nations and this spirit does all it can to destroy. And it does by stealing knowledge and stealing people. It can't fight what it can't steal. So if it can't steal a man it has to lie and lie and lie and lie until you want to puke. And then it has a theft because you want to be sick. And that is part of its joke not mine.

 The fact is I am on the right side. I am doing what I can to fight and to overcome. God knows that I am fighting. He knows I am overcoming. He knows I am waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And haven't received. So God is coming to deliver. And coming to help me understand. Because evil steals. And evil fights. And evil lies. And evil is the devil and Satan. And sin is the spirit who triumphs over us if we fail to heed the word. It is the time which God helps to carry. It is time which I help to fight. I fight with prayer. And I fight with those who are of God so they can be set free. I am a king. And God is coming to make me a king. I am just a king. I work with those who want Jesus to come and be King of Kings. And so I, as a King, make a proclamation. That I am sent to help bring to liberty those who are captive. And to help set free those who are brought low and those who are hurt. I am come to help set free those who are broken and those who are shut in. So please help me and help me understand.

 Least ways I am waiting for God. I can't do it alone. I can't make it alone. I am waiting and that is when God says enough for now. And I lay down the recorder or shut it off. And return to life and pray as I walk my way home.